I had a pretty good conversation with Fisher today. It mostly consisted of me talking but he is trying so hard to make sounds. He goes wild with all the different sounds until, of course, I pull out the camera. He then just sits and stares at the camera unless I can distract him. Before I pulled out the camcorder I was singing to him "oh boy oh boy!" and he loved it. He was making short, almost giggle, sounds and waving his arms. But of course I couldn't get him to do it again. His favorite sound to make right now is "aghuh".

my little fish is trying so hard to hold himself up.

i was recording fisher when all of a sudden i had to sneeze. it apparently scared fisher pretty bad cuz he usually doesn't respond to noises this way.

Fisher has discovered toys other than his hands.

Into God's Hands I Place You

I wish I had pictures to share but my card won't read in the computer for some reason.
Well, my small family just returned from Idaho. We were visiting Adam's family in Twin Falls. As much as I wanted to see everybody my heart was fearful to go. I was afraid of bad road conditions because of the time of year it is. I was afraid of keeping Fisher in his car seat for 13 hours. I was afraid of being in a house full of family that included several kids. I was worried that Fisher would get sick from being around other sick kids. I was afraid of messing up Fisher's schedule that I have just been getting the hang of. My heart was just full of fear. I prayed for freedom from this, and yet it still plagued me. Beautiful moments between cousins were lost to me because of this fear. When this panic hits me I go into a state of confusion. I can go through the facts and say "I know that God is in control...I know that Fisher is not sick right now and if he does get sick it will be okay...I know that I am having a really good time here...I know that Fisher is surrounded by family who loves him so much...but all of those truths are clouded by that confusion. I wasn't this way the whole time. I would just have spells of it. One hour I would be light hearted and full of joy to be with people I love, then the next I would be fearful. Now that we are home safe and sound I miss the company of family. Fisher did get a cold, but so far he is just fine. I got the cold too, but I don't mind that as long as Fisher is fine. I talked to the pastor of our church about these panic attacks. He was very comforting. He told me it is normal to have this and to let myself feel it instead of saying "oh just trust in the Lord". Because no matter how much I tell myself that, my feelings will reign over. I also learned that I will get better at handling this the more experiences Fisher and I go through together and the more I talk about it with others. For now, I do know that God is surely in control and He loves Fisher more fully and completely than I do. So into His hands I place you Fisher.