This video is probably a month old but I love the faces Fisher makes in his sleep.


Fisher in his bumbo


First meal in his highchair. It's messy business!


Pillow talk with the Fish.


Fisher with pops.

4 months

Oh how time flies. Fisher is 4 months and has been impressing me with more hand coordination and babble. The last two days he's been laughing and squealing in response to me doing something silly for him. I can't believe he is mine. This little boy came from Adam and me. What a miracle. I've taken Fisher with me to a couple worship practices. He's been totally content to watch and listen and even sings along! Pastor Chuck was sitting next to him and said that he was singing on key! My little Fish is gonna be a worshiper! Next week we will find out how much he's grown. He is huge. He's been wearing 6-9 month clothes and needs 9 month pants. The pants are a little long but fit perfect around his bulbous mid section. I just bought size 4 diapers. They are a tid bit too big but the 3's aren't catching the flying poop up the back anymore. I can only handle so many changes of clothes a day.

Fisher and I went on a walk. It was sunny so I decided to put a baseball cap on to shade his eyes. He looks so darn cute. Doesn't he look like Elmer Fudd?

Fisher loves his Dad.

What's on the boob tube dad?

a teething Fish

Fisher is now 3 months and all of a sudden started to teeth. He can't keep anything out of his mouth, he's drooling like an old bulldog and he's cranky. I'm going crazy with the restlessness and whining. How do moms handle this? I've taken a few drives through out the day because he won't stay asleep during his naps. At least when the car is in motion he sleeps. I feel so bad for him because I know he's hurting, but I can only handle so much crying. The past couple of days have been a lot better thankfully. Fisher has just been smiling none stop now. He's laughed a few times for me when I tickled him. I LOVE it! He is taking in his surroundings more than ever now. I walked by our fish bowl and I noticed him eyeballing the fish. So I let him take it in. I think he was amazed. I took him outside in the rain so he could experience the sound and feel of it. I think he dug it. He's growing so fast. I feel a little sadness about loosing those early months already. But I'm excited with each new stage he goes through. I just went through his clothes today and took out all the ones that don't fit him anymore. I cried. I am filled with so much love for this little guy. It's overwhelming but wonderful. My anxiety has lessened somewhat. I had a little relapse when Adam had the flu. Amazingly enough Fisher and I did not get it. Praise God for that. I am having to learn trust like never before. Each new test is getting a little easier. But I'm still a long way away from not over worrying. Thank God for great friends, family, and a husband who have helped me along the way. Thank you so much for being there for me. I could not do this alone...I'm so glad I don't have to!

I had a pretty good conversation with Fisher today. It mostly consisted of me talking but he is trying so hard to make sounds. He goes wild with all the different sounds until, of course, I pull out the camera. He then just sits and stares at the camera unless I can distract him. Before I pulled out the camcorder I was singing to him "oh boy oh boy!" and he loved it. He was making short, almost giggle, sounds and waving his arms. But of course I couldn't get him to do it again. His favorite sound to make right now is "aghuh".

my little fish is trying so hard to hold himself up.

i was recording fisher when all of a sudden i had to sneeze. it apparently scared fisher pretty bad cuz he usually doesn't respond to noises this way.

Fisher has discovered toys other than his hands.

Into God's Hands I Place You

I wish I had pictures to share but my card won't read in the computer for some reason.
Well, my small family just returned from Idaho. We were visiting Adam's family in Twin Falls. As much as I wanted to see everybody my heart was fearful to go. I was afraid of bad road conditions because of the time of year it is. I was afraid of keeping Fisher in his car seat for 13 hours. I was afraid of being in a house full of family that included several kids. I was worried that Fisher would get sick from being around other sick kids. I was afraid of messing up Fisher's schedule that I have just been getting the hang of. My heart was just full of fear. I prayed for freedom from this, and yet it still plagued me. Beautiful moments between cousins were lost to me because of this fear. When this panic hits me I go into a state of confusion. I can go through the facts and say "I know that God is in control...I know that Fisher is not sick right now and if he does get sick it will be okay...I know that I am having a really good time here...I know that Fisher is surrounded by family who loves him so much...but all of those truths are clouded by that confusion. I wasn't this way the whole time. I would just have spells of it. One hour I would be light hearted and full of joy to be with people I love, then the next I would be fearful. Now that we are home safe and sound I miss the company of family. Fisher did get a cold, but so far he is just fine. I got the cold too, but I don't mind that as long as Fisher is fine. I talked to the pastor of our church about these panic attacks. He was very comforting. He told me it is normal to have this and to let myself feel it instead of saying "oh just trust in the Lord". Because no matter how much I tell myself that, my feelings will reign over. I also learned that I will get better at handling this the more experiences Fisher and I go through together and the more I talk about it with others. For now, I do know that God is surely in control and He loves Fisher more fully and completely than I do. So into His hands I place you Fisher.