my first blog

Well, I think there is no better time to start a blog than when I've begun a new life. I just had my baby boy, Fisher Wayne Hamman, and have discovered a new view on God's love. I have never loved this deeply before. This love brings on an overwhelming feeling of vulnerability and fear. I've had to pray through this fear because at times it's gripping. My heart seizes up and it's hard to breath. I know that everything is in God's hands and He loves Fisher more than I do, but to let that knowledge seep into my heart is difficult. Oh my heart and soul, safely trust in the Lord. I want to be like that tree who is planted by the stream, whose roots run deep, and who does not fear when drought comes. I was driving the other day with Fisher in the back seat, and I was thinking of Christmas and what it means. I started to cry because I cannot comprehend God sending His only son knowing what was going to happen to him. Death on a cross...being spat on and beaten. I cannot bear the thought of Fisher even catching a cold. Oh my God, how deeply you love and how deeply you must have hurt when your only son died on the cross. How did you do it? And yet, you hurt this deeply every day when your children deny you. I thank You for my son. I thank you for Your son. I thank You for Your true love. Not only are you a husband to me, you are my Father too. What a wonderful love you ARE!