A little lesson

My mom noticed a lump on my throat last time she was visiting.  I knew it was there but just pushed it to the back of my mind.  I had other things to think about like taking care of my kids and attempting a garden and what to make for dinner...oh what to make for dinner.  So I made it to the doctor just before my mom left to go back to Washington.  Blood tests and an ultrasound basically just told me that I have nodules growing on my thyroid.  2 on one side and 1 on the other.  I had to wait a week just to find that out.  I went in to do more blood work.  It's 6 days later and I found out I actually do not have an overactive thyroid which is what was thought previously given my skinny-ness and heart palpitations.  So, now I have to wait for my doctor to call me back and schedule a biopsy.  I'm getting more and more scared.  I think the waiting is what makes it so hard.  They say it's nothing to worry about and in my mind I know that it's pointless to worry about something that could easily be nothing.  But trying to get that to sink into my heart is hard.  I keep having to take my thoughts captive and focus on what I know is true and nothing more.  I read a scripture out of psalm 27.  "and this I am still confident of.  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait on the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord."  This was fitting for me because of all this WAITING I am having to do.  I have my moments of complete victory where I'm solid and am not fearful.  Then I have moments where I'm terrified of what might be wrong with me and I cry of course.  The past couple of weeks have just been terrible.  I've been in rotten moods and have gotten pretty short with the kids.  My head is in the clouds and I can't seem to focus on easy tasks like doing the dishes or even just making dinner.  It seems to take me forever because I forget what I'm doing...all because my mind is preoccupied with this stupid unknown problem.  I've also been extremely exhausted.  Physically and mentally.  Probably from worry and not really because of what is wrong with me.  Any time my throat hurts or my jaw or my ears, I'm thinking "is this because of whatever's wrong with me?"  So I'm having a hard time identifying true symptoms versus psuedo ones that I'm coming up with just because I know something is wrong.  One of the things I'm worried about is if this will keep me from singing.  I noticed after singing for an event my throat was a little achy.  When I say my throat I'm not talking about a sore throat like you would get with a cold.  Maybe it's the glands or something.  But instantly I wonder if it's because of whatever is wrong.  I'm just praying for God to give me faith that I don't naturally have.  Faith that no matter what happens, I'm in good hands and so is my family.  Faith that gives me hope and comfort.  I had been praying before all this happened. I was asking God to show me how I could bring Him the most glory I possibly could while I'm here on earth.  I just really long to bring him glory and honor due to him in everything I do.  And this is still my prayer.  Lord, through all of this bring yourself glory.  I know all things are in your hands and you know whatever is wrong with this body of mine.  What ever is in your will for me I say okay.  Lets do this and let's glorify your name.  Meanwhile, give me the faith that I need and help me to stay hopeful and cheerful and patient for my kids and my husband. 

A few songs I wrote

I started to write songs and I am loving it so much. They usually come from something God is teaching me, or from a scripture that stuck in my brain. I hope to keep writing and writing and singing and singing. Here's a few videos that Chuck and I recorded with the help of our friend. We hope to do some "real" recording soon with the whole band. But we were just too excited to wait.

Dance For You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncaYjjmPEsE&context=C3bfd532ADOEgsToPDskIa4GrUqVi0gkPC8kJX5KMt

The Lovc You Give
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scTYS8vG4KA&context=C31be6f4ADOEgsToPDskKBhF8K43CI7al7gVROLESo

As One
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQXpMhOiyW0&feature=context&context=C31be6f4ADOEgsToPDskKBhF8K43CI7al7gVROLESo

All the gifts

Now i get to share all the projects I had been working on for Christmas gifts. In the rush to get all these gifts out in time forgot to take pictures of a couple. I made a cute car caddy for my nephew and crocheted an orange scarf for my friend Rachel. I'll have to get pics later. Or just make more.

My mother in-law taught me how to make these little yo-yo flowers so I would have something to do on our long car ride home when we had visited them. I put one on a head band with a button for my niece.

I recently rediscovered crocheting and put it to use making a coffee cup cozy for my friend Jen.

A yarn wreath with felt flowers for my sister in-law

Another one for my other sister in-law

A tissue paper wreath for my new niece, Summer.

My nieces on Adam's side got some cute little aprons since I had found out one of them was getting a kitchen set for Christmas.

And of course hand prints for the Grandparents.

Just some fun

Adam with his new facial hair-do (I really like it)

Finley with his cutest face ever. The legend has it that I used to always make this face as a child.

Fisher showing his brotherly love

A still un-potty-trained Fisher chilling with dad. I think they were watching Little Mermaid :)

Fisher learning to ride his new bike. I still struggle trying to get him to look ahead and not down.

Finley has discovered that he can climb these chairs. This is okay, but he's been doing some crazy stunt-like positions that he's gonna break his neck doing. I've put the chairs away for now.

Fisher was playing with his cars and decided to park them like this. Notice the grouping. This is a new concept for him to do on his own. Way to go, son, you're brilliant!

a few projects

This lamp I have already posted before, but I made some changes. I painted ribbon to match and put it around the lamp shade. I really like it, and even better, Adam likes it.

I got this wreath at a second hand store. I made these flowers out of paper plates. I like them so much I may add more.

I got these old windows from the drummer in my band. I sanded this one up and was so excited to see blue and greens behind the white. I'm keeping this distressed look. It just needs to be hung. I'm going to draw a pic to put behind it, or use a dry erase pen and write a nice saying on it.

These are the old windows that need to be cleaned up. I've got big plans for them.

oh the sickness

We had the stomach bug hit us this last week. It was, to say the least, miserable. On top of that, Finley is teething so bad and not sleeping well. Finley got the bug first. I was up all night with him throwing up every 30 minutes to an hour. Then, a day and a half later he recouped while Fisher woke up 20 minutes into his nap throwing up. Then that night I woke up at 2 in the morning throwing up. Missed Thanksgiving. Two nights later, Adam woke up throwing up. Needless to say, the laundry pile was monstrous and i'm still still not back on track with household duties. I have so many things to do: Christmas cards, birthday thank you cards from the boys (may or may not happen), make Christmas presents, meal plan for my big monthly grocery run, and CLEAN!!! Meanwhile, I still have to play with my boys a little because they are so darn fun.

I was on TV!

I wrote a song and played it downtown with Chuck. A man who runs a local channel recorded it and put it on his show. That was fun. I'm at minute 51 or 53...somewhere in there.

http://www.archive.org/details/AH-michael_the_k_experience_ep13